Maximum Capacity
by Miss Hanamura
Summary: "He figures out everything when he sees her boarding the train leaving Inaba." — Kanji/OC, rated for sexual content in later chapters. Written for der kapitan.
1. Heavy

At first glance, some would say Taiga Baisotei was your average, teenage girl—modest grades, ever-watchful grey eyes, firey red hair—and you'd be right... _If_ it weren't for the series of grisly murders that changed her life forever.

She's not sure when it happened, exactly—she doesn't keep a calendar, marking every event that occurs to date—but she does think it all started around the time her father was announced _missing in action_. She started to slip, faster and faster, but she didn't say a word. Didn't scream. Didn't cry. Kept it all in until it exploded.

They were there to save her—a rag-tag team of unlikely teenagers, if you could believe it. They told her it was okay. That they had all gone through this. That she had to accept the figure that shared her features, and with reluctance, she does. She awakens to a power... One that would be the key in solving the murder case in the small, little rural town they lived in known as_ Inaba_.

The news is overwhelming. It's too much for her. She falls, a black blanket cascading over her world, smothering the light within it. She remembers a pair of strong arms carrying her home, and then...

* * *

He's the first to visit her. Kanji Tatsumi. She knows him well—well enough, she thinks—since her mother is good friends with his. He was a bit rough around the edges, but he meant well. Had a soft side he didn't like to show. Each visit had been awkward—long silences because neither knew what to say—but nice. Nice to have someone else take care of _her _for a change, while she laid in bed, drinking tea, and laughing at his attempts at conversation.

Their relationship has grown since then, grown considerably. He pushes her out of the way of Bufu-spells in the TV, and she listens to his problems, his worries, his dreams. They were perfect for each other. The Emperor and the Sun. He would never let her burn out.

* * *

That was one year ago, though. Taiga is now a senior at Yasogami High. All is peaceful—the murders long forgotten, people beginning to move on—but she still has her doubts, just like anyone her age. She's torn between going overseas for school, or staying in Inaba. In Inaba she had her friends, her family, but if she left...

She sighs as she tosses another rock into the water, and watches it sink to the bottom. _Depressing_. The ripples. The fall. This activity would've been more enjoyable if she could actually skip rocks, but since she can't, she lets another sigh leak from her lips and sits down on the ground, absently picking at the grass. How long has she been there? Minutes? Hours? It all feels the same to her, the time blending together seemlessly. She's never felt this low before. So lost in her thoughts, she doesn't notice someone take the seat beside her, nor does she notice the huge coat suddenly drape her petite frame.

She got cold easily—the reason why she wore heavy combat boots and sweaters over her uniform—so the added warmth is appreciated. She doesn't need to turn to know who it is. Call it a superpower of hers. Taiga smiles, and leans back, inhaling the smell of the jacket. There's a bit too much cologne there for her taste, but she's grown used to it. It's comforting. The person next to her smirks, and crosses his arms, "Man, you _reaaaally_ suck at that, Senpai~"

A pout, he laughs, "T-That may be, but...!" She doesn't have an excuse. He laughs harder, and stands up, his bleach blonde hair looking like golden wisps against the warm wind. It had grown, she noticed. He was taller, too, more lean. He looked so much lighter without that jacket he usually hauled around on his shoulder.

"Somethin' up?" Kanji suddenly turns to her, and she shifts uncomfortably at the intensity of his gaze. She didn't know where she was with him. He never confessed to her, but she has seen the long glances he gives her when he thinks she's not looking, the blush when she gets a little closer. It's obvious to her and everyone around them. He seemed to be in denial, though. Maybe because there was still Naoto, or maybe the thought of a relationship with anyone terrified him. That _did_ sound like his Shadow, now that she thought about it... She wasn't there for it, but Chie had mentioned it to her once when she asked.

"It's nothing, Kanji-san," She flashes him a tiny smile to solidfy the lie, but he sees right through her. He was always able to do that. Unlike anyone else. Call it _his_ super power, "Please don't worry about me." She hears him clearly '_tch_,' even underneath his breath.

"Bullshit. You've been all moody ever since this year started. Is it me? Did I do something to piss you off?" He gives her a look, and it reminds Taiga of a wounded puppy that's just been kicked and she starts to feel bad. She stares at her lap. She couldn't tell him. She knew how he was. He would want to stay, and then their... Whatever they had, would be terminated. She didn't want that, never did.

So that's why she had avoided him entirely. Had kept quiet, and only spoke up when addressed. Had headed straight home afterschool. She still met up with the old Investigation Team every once in awhile at Junes, but it felt empty without Yu. Without the case, there was nothing to talk about. Members skipped meetings in a row. Some didn't even give notice first. They had slowly gone on to do their own things. It wasn't the same as it had been last year.

Things were changing, and even though she was afraid, even though she didn't want to, she knew she had to change as well. And that meant leaving Inaba forever, and making something for herself. Somewhere not here.

"Look, you don't gotta tell me now, just..." Kanji starts again, reaching for her face, but then he stops, and looks away instead. He always had trouble finding words around her. He could never be brave. Her heartbeat quickens for a moment before falling back down. He's blushing, and she feels worse.

"I'm fine, I assure you," Taiga reaches for his hand, but he pulls away like her touch was fire. They had never held hands. They had never kissed. They were stuck in a place they couldn't get out.

They had reached their maximum level, their maximum capacity.

Was it even worth all this?

She shakes her head, and climbs up and onto her feet. There's so much she wants to tell him, but now's not the time. Her throat is dry, and anything she wants to say dies somewhere along the way. No, she'd have to wait. Think this through, "I'll see you at school, okay?" A smile, a wave, and then she disappears entirely. The smell of her still lingers even after she's left. She always smelled nice. Like apples, or berries, or flowers. Pretty, girly smells that made him feel warmer. Kanji remains there at the Floodplains—mulling over his thoughts for a while—before deciding that he should follow her lead, and head home. The stars gleamed above him.

Of course he was worried for her. Of course part of him wanted to chase her down, spin her around, and see what was up, but the other, more reasonable part of him knew that'd be a waste of time. Taiga was the type of girl who gave everything to everyone, and left nothing for herself. The suffer-in-silence type. She got picked on because of it, used, and trampled on. If someone was giving her crap, they were going to have a nice conversation with his fist.

But that other part of him ringed through again, shouting, yelling that it must've been something else entirely. She wouldn't get so upset over something like that. She was oblivious. And he was determined to get it out of her one way, or another. Being blunt wasn't going to work—because she found ways to dance around the subject—so maybe talking to Rise about it would? They were best friends, after all. Yes, the more he thought about it, the better it sounded... He falls asleep on his pillow with a smile on his face.

Not knowing that was the day that everything had fallen apart.


	2. Warm

**A/N: Hey hun~ Sorry if I took a bit longer with this one. I wanted to get this done before my break ended, but I didn't have much inspiration at the time. And then I got sick tonight, listened to some Marianas Trench, and boom! I found some! Weird how I get inspiration at the strangest times...**

**Oh, and I think I'll have the lemon be the last chapter, though it ****_might_**** be pretty short compared to the others...**

**And sorry this has been sorta Kanji-centric ;w; **

* * *

_You're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath,_

_And the space between the things you know is blurry nonetheless._

_When you try to speak, but you make no sound,_

_And the words you want are out of reach but they've never been so loud._

He wakes up bright and early the next day, and wanders over to the Tofu shop down the street, where Rise is currently manning the counter, hair tied back with a bandana, clean white apron over the orange blouse she usually donned on the weekends. It's nowhere close to noon yet, so there's only one person waiting in line when he gets there. When she sees him, she flashes him a warm smile, and holds up her finger.

_One minute_.

In all honesty, even though they were in the same class, same team, hell, even_ lived _right in front of each other, Kanji didn't pay too much attention to the idol. Not that she wasn't pretty, or fun, or interesting enough to be around, he just never really... _Clicked_, with her—like most of the girls he came to know from the team. The only time they ever did hang out was when Taiga was with them, and...

No, he can't get sidetracked. He just came to ask a simple question, and that was it. Geez, how much was this guy ordering anyway? It was just tofu—plain, tasteless, hardly edible if you asked him—nothing to get excited about. Kanji didn't even realize how antsy he was to talk to her. Before he knew it, he was rolling his eyes, crossing his arms, and tapping his foot impatiently against the tiled floor. The man finally pays for his food, and takes the brown bag from Rise, heading towards the door—not before shooting Kanji a disgusted sideglance, which he gratefully returns.

Once the bell chimes, and the man's gone, Rise removes her apron, and hangs it up. She sighs, her smile drooping just a little, and he frowns—the look certainly didn't suit her, not when he always saw her wearing that flirty smile of hers. He thought it was permanently glued to her face. She turns, and is slightly startled to see him leaning against the wall, like she completely forgot he was still there. "Oh, hey, Kanji-kun! Sorry, let me just clean up a bit, and then we can talk."

She disappears upstairs—to change he figured, though she looked fine to him. He'd never understand girls. They whipped out their compact mirrors faster than he could blink, checked their hair, re-applied make-up, even though they looked the same as they did 5 minutes ago when they had done that. Not Taiga, though, she was all natural. She comes back down a few minutes later.

They decide to head to Junes for some topsicles since it was especially hot that day. He thought about taking off his jacket, but decided against it. He'd feel naked without it. She gets a red one, and he gets blue, his favorite. They sit in silence for awhile—licking occasionally, looking with hands raised over their eyes at the sun blaring down at them, since they weren't lucky enough to get a shaded table—before he decides to open up the conversation.

"Say, Rise, you're friends with Taiga-senpai, right?" It was a stupid question, one he already knew the answer to, but it was the only way he knew how to start. He had practiced what to say in front of his mirror this morning, but no matter what he did, nothing good came out. Just a jumbled mess like he was. When she grunts in response—sadly paying more attention to the frozen treat in her hands than him, but he brushes it off—he's given the okay to continue, "So, uh... You know what's been up with her? She's got this dead look in her eye, and 's been all depressed."

Rise suddenly stops licking her topsicle, and meets his eyes for the first time today—since they were at her grandmother's shop at least. He doesn't like the look she's giving him. Brown eyes suddenly stare at the floor, and his heart plummets, fearing the worse. A frown tugs at the corners of her lips, and he's afraid she's about to cry, but she thankfully manages words. Good, he was bad at... _Comforting _people. Verbal confrontation in general, actually. He was a rock in the emotional department. Something he and his old man had shared, from what his ma told him—and she told him so little about him. All he _could_ do was pat her back, and feed her empty words he didn't mean. "She never told you? She's leaving, for Tokyo."

Tokyo, the fashion captial of the world. Filled with urban landscapes, attractions, parks, temples, shrines and shops. Overpopulated. Gas fumes. Why would she want to go there, when everything she'd ever need is here? He wrinkles his nose at the very thought, "Tokyo? The hell she wants to go there for?" Inaba had been all he ever knew, all _she _ever knew. He was born there, and he hadn't made immediate plans yet, but figured he'd die there too. Inaba is where all the murder cases started. Where he made his first friends in awhile, fell in love—

He stumbles over the 'L' word. Where had _that_ come from? His mind drifts to Taiga—her smile, her red hair that always smelled sweet, and reminded him of better days and sunshine and rain all at once. How she always helped him in Math because she knew he was no good at it, even though she probably had heaps of homework herself. How she always sat down with him, took the time to hear his voiced out thoughts—all of them, some of which he never shared or dared to with anyone before... If you_ didn't _count the plush penguin he slept with every night, of course...

When he's with her, he feels like a little boy again. Capable of anything. _Invicible_. _Safe_. She was perfect in all aspects of the word.

If someone like her could even _think_ about loving someone like him...

Then he might be _worth_ something. Even after all the stupid shit he's done. After every person he's beaten up, and every wall he's ever built to protect himself.

So, why hasn't he told her all that?

Because he's _afraid_.

Afraid he's not good enough for her, and he's _not_, but...

He wants that feeling back. Everytime he looks at her now, there's a knot in his chest, a hole he can't fill. A sadness in the room he can't take away. He hates not being in control; hates even more to see the girl he cares for slowly fade away to an empty shell—an empty husk of the beautiful and kind and upbeat girl he once knew—and he can't do anything about it.

The brunette in front of him sighs, and just stares at him. Like he should've known already. Like he's some sort of animal, some sort of idiot. How could he when Taiga kept avoiding him like he was the plague? Why didn't she tell him? Weren't they friends? Was he the last to know? A million questions swam through his mind, none of which he had answers to. Finally, Rise decides to speak again, "Kanji-kun, we're not kids anymore. We have to start growing up," She stands up to toss away a wad of paper—the crumpled up heap of wrappings her topsicle was in—into the wastebin beside them. She looks back at him, and he could shrink from the intensity of her look, "Senpai's smart, you know that better than anyone~ She got a scholarship last week for some big university in the city, and she leaves later toda—H-Hey, where are you going?! Kanji-kun?!"

_And if your heart wears thin I will hold you up,_

_And I will hide you when it gets too much._

_I'll be right beside you._

His feet take him up, and away from there before his mind can process the information. Before he even tells her goodbye, or even when Taiga's train leaves, or why she wasn't there to see her off. He's running faster than he ever has in his entire life.

At that moment, he feels like he could _fly_.

She was about to leave for Tokyo.

Leave _him_.

Was that why she never told him?

Because she was afraid he wouldn't understand because he's just some punk living in a town that wasn't even on most maps?

Afraid he'd beg her to stay? Hold her back?

Maybe he would... And it was a selfish thought, but—

No, he wasn't about to lose her.

He promised he'd protect her.

Not out loud, but in his mind, and that had to count for something,_ right_?

They could still have that fairytale book ending they both always wanted.

He couldn't let his Sun burn out.

Because he...

_I will stay._

_Nobody will break you._

There it was, the train station. The last time he was here he was wishing Yu a goodbye, along with the rest of his friends. He could see her, that bright beam of sunlight, a blur of red and yellow amongst the dreay shades of grey in the aisle-way. He waved his arms frantically, yelled like she could hear him, but she couldn't. He knew that, but tried anyway.

"Taiga-senpai!" His voice cracks, and for a second, he doesn't even _recognize_ it. His legs take control again, and he's on the tracks, chasing the train. People yell in the distance, but he can't hear them, can't see them.

Only sees her, and her light, and her grace, and the quiet beauty that was her.

"Taiga-senpai!" He shouts again. He can't catch his breath; his lungs burn, but he keeps going. Taiga looks out the window; her grey eyes flicker over to him, stop, look forward, then back at him. She opens it up, and pops her head out, her long red hair wisping around her like a flame.

She's never looked so perfect to him.

"Kanji-san?! What on Earth are you doing?!"

"Senpai, I love you!"

_Trust in me, trust in me._

_Don't pull away._

_Trust in me, trust in me._

She can't hear him over the roar of the engine, the chatter of the townfolk, or the drone of the loudspeaker. She cups her hand over her ear. "What?!"

He tries again—louder, clearer, more sure of himself this time. He knew why it hurt so much; why he had missed everything about her. He felt like he had been trapped in a dense fog without her smile, her laugh, her very _presence_. And now he needed all that more than ever. "I said I love you, dammit!" His voice runs away with the wind.

There's no reply.

She gets up, out of her seat, and he's afraid he's too late, halts his steps, turns around when—

The train stops. Somebody gets off.

"Oof!" He's tackled to the ground; a pair of thin arms—much smaller than his own, daintier than his own—are around his stomach. Tears soak through his uniform.

"You mean it?" Taiga peers up at him from underneath long eyelashes, and she looks so vulnerable, so _needy _right then. His arms snake around her waist, and his lips carefully brush over hers, afraid that if he presses too hard, she'll break. Like she's porcelain. Hers press more firmly against his, and she's surprised by how soft they are.

They're unaware of everything else around them.

There's only a boy and a girl oblivious to the world.

Two people becoming one in just a kiss.

They break for air, and he grins at her, "Yeah, I think I do," Then he leans in for one more.

_I'm just trying to keep this together,_

_Because I could do worse and you could do better._

"I love you too, Kanji-san." And those are the words he's been waiting to hear his entire life.


	3. Limit

**Arnica! Here it is, your final chapter! So sorry it's late D8 Been busy with schoolwork, other requests, and such~ I hope you enjoy, and ****_yes _****this does contain a lemon like you wanted~**

**I keep switching tenses in this, too, I'm sorry...**

* * *

_No hair is out of place._

_Even slick with sweat she still seems to shine, her chest rising and falling in simulation with his. He murmurs something against her skin and it burns—everywhere he touches her._

After gathering her things off the train, they had traveled back to Tatsumi Textiles, up to his room. She had never been up there before; it was cleaner than she imagined, _brighter_, the curtained window in the back letting in just enough light. She noticed a sewing machine in the far corner, and personal items tacked to the walls—photographs with him, his mom, the rest of the Investigation Team—while the others were things she had actually given him over the years. Simple things like greeting cards, and CDs she thought he'd like.

She perched herself uncomfortably on the edge of his bed, like a baby bird getting ready to leave the nest, smooths out her sweater, rolls up her sleeves. She remembered how flustered he was—the red in his cheeks was kind of cute—and remembered him offering her a drink. Shit, he was no good at this. This was the first time he's let a friend into his room, first time he's let in a _girl_. He just hoped she didn't find his bedroom stupid or babyish (should he have hid the stuff animals?). Taiga politely declined—he could hear her soft laugh even hidden behind her hand—and he sat down beside her, the bed squeaking loudly from the added weight.

And then...

She's not sure who initiated the kiss first—her or him... Did it really matter either way?—but it _happens_. It had started out with one slow, sweet kiss, and just sort of... _Escalated_ from there, tongues brushed, legs tangled; somewhere in their heated dance her skirt had bunched up, and shirt crinkled.

Even though Kanji towered over her—both in height and pure raw strength—he was surprisingly gentle with her, would break the kiss first to make sure she was okay, apologized repeatedly if he scratched her on accident. It made her feel good, _special_, knowing that there was someone there to take care of her. And it was all she really ever wanted.

"Uh... Senpai?" There hadn't been much talking; it was like their bodies were acting on their own. And really, what _else_ was there to say? He was a boy, and she was a girl. This sort of thing was natural... Wasn't it? His rough voice breaks into her thoughts, and she softly moans a reply. He continues, "I-Is this okay...?" His hands are gliding down to her chest, cupping gently, and her breath hitches in her throat. With some vocal encouragement, fingers move south—tracing her curves, her stomach—memorizing every inch of her with the utmost softness. She pulls him down, and crushes their lips together, desperate, _needy_. She's breathing him in.

Where were they? She's lost herself. His mouth is distracting, the smell of his clothes, his everything over her.

Taiga moans faintly as she feels his tongue trail her lips, feels his hands ghost over her skin for a fleeting moment before pulling her skirt, and leggings down, tossing them to the side. They pull away, and he's looking into her eyes, just a shade lighter than his, but so much prettier, he thinks. She wraps her legs around him, and their brought even closer—his body melding, _meshing_ with her much smaller one. Another moan leaks out, and he swoops his head down to kiss her neck. Everything he did was so careful, so thought out. This wasn't the Kanji Tatsumi she knew. The one that would dive headfirst into battle without a care, weapon in hand, ready to give his life just to see the rest of them safe.

No.

But she found herself not minding.

"K-Kanji-san, I..." She grips his shoulders, and when he stops to look at her, she shakes her head. She didn't want him to stop, but... Part of her hated this. Not _this_ in general, she thinks as he alternates between nibbling, and licking the crook of her neck; No, she hated that uneasy feeling washing over her. She was afraid. After this, what would happen? Could she still go through with her plan? The plan she had been working on for months now?

No.

She couldn't keep thinking about this. This wasn't about Tokyo or school or even the city. This was about him, and how he was making her feel, and oh god, when had he gotten down _there_? He must've noticed her unease—the blush on her cheeks wasn't helping any—and Kanji glances at her.

"You okay? You... You want me to stop?"

She leans up, and their lips meet once again, deepening their connection. Her brain felt fuzzy, and all she could taste was him. In her mouth, on her lips; Taiga's face burned. Her skin tingled where he'd touched her, with an almost imperceptible electricity that she couldn't be sure if she was imagining. She loved every minute of it.

"N-No..." She never wanted this to end.

He's deeper now, and she cries out, her walls beginning to fall around them. This was it; after this, they'd become one.

"Kanji-san!"

And everything blurred together in a beautiful mess, and she thinks _this_ is where she needs to be.


End file.
